Prepare the sauce: Combine oyster sauce, soy sauce, fish sauce, Thai black soy sauce, and golden mountain sauce in a bowl. Set aside.
Marinate the protein: Mix bite-sized chicken breast pieces with soy sauce, a touch of sugar, and a little water to add juiciness. Let sit while prepping other ingredients.
Prepare vegetables: Trim Chinese broccoli by removing branches, slice thicker stems diagonally, and roughly chop thinner stems and leaves.
Prepare noodles: If using fresh noodles stuck together, separate into chunks and microwave at 70% power for 1 minute, separate again, and repeat for 3-4 minutes until soft and separated.
Cook protein: Heat a well-seasoned carbon steel or cast iron wok over high heat. Add protein and sear without disturbing for about 1 minute until browned. Toss and finish cooking. Remove protein and set aside.
Cook noodles and vegetables: Add a little oil to the wok, sauté chopped garlic until golden, then add beaten eggs and scramble briefly. Add Chinese broccoli and toss. Add noodles, sauce mixture, and sugar. Toss to combine, separating any clumps.
Toast noodles: Spread noodles evenly in the wok and let them sit undisturbed over high heat to develop smoky wok char. Flip and toast other side as desired to achieve artisanal charring without burning.
Combine and finish: Return cooked protein to the wok, toss gently to combine, avoiding adding excess liquid from the protein bowl. Turn off heat and give a final toss.
Serve with condiments: Serve with ground white pepper and chili vinegar (chili mixed with white vinegar) on the side for added spicy acidity.